Coffee

So, I know that I promised in my last post to keep the content level up but, to be honest, life around here has  been pretty content-less the past few weeks. Nothing major going on and no real deep thoughts worth sharing running around my head. So, if you've been waiting with bated breath, sorry for that. I can't really promise that today's offering is worth sharing either, but it's what I got.

A few quick updates before I get down to business:
1. The kid is, of course, growing and growing. He's crawling and pulling up and showing all kinds of signs that he's planning on being a handful once he fully masters the art of mobility. He's always been a very independent kid so it's nice to be able to give him a few toys and trust him to entertain himself for a few minutes. Though he has his days when he's completely against me experiencing any level of productivity. Still, motherhood hasn't gotten old yet so he's not in danger of being an only child.

Trying to  be like Mommy

2. I mentioned before that I've been exercising my brain by doing some self-study in  programming and Computer Science. It's something I had to do a lot of in college and became pretty good at. It's been good because I get to use my problem solving skills, which is how my brain works best. It's also sparked some ideas in my head for a project. I'd like to try my hand at developing some educational software that allows students to perform virtual lab experiments. It's kind of my way of blending y interests in computers, science, and education. Of course, my skills are not near up to par for a such a task so I've tried to step up the study. Unfortunately, fitting it into my schedule is easier said than done, so it's been a bit of slow going. I'll keep you up to date on that.

Anyway, on to what I really wanted to talk about: COFFEE. If you know don't know anything else about me, know that I love coffee. My mom started giving me tastes of flavored coffee with loads of milk in it when I was 11 or 12 and I was drinking the real think by the time I was 13. And this was before there was a Starbucks on every corner and 9 year-olds knew how to order Tall Half-Caf Lattes. I've been known to drink upwards of 4 cups a day.  Of course, my consumption went way down when I got pregnant, but that was more because I developed a strong aversion to the smell than for any health reasons.

When I lived in Philly, I would take the El Train out to Upper Darby for church. One Thursday evening, as I was headed out for midweek service, I stopped at 7-11 for a cup of coffee to drink on the way. I headed to the 34th Street Station with my Bible and notebook in 1 hand and my cup in the other. The train came and, as I was getting on, I mis-stepped and my foot went down into the gap between the platform and the train (There are no kindly "Mind the Gap" reminders like in the London Tube). My Bible went flying across the platform. My notebook went flying across the platform. My coffee? Safe in my hand with no more than than 4 or 5 drops spilled. So that tells you all you need to know about me and coffee.

When I lived on my own, the one thing I always had to have was a coffee maker. Even in college, when I worked at a cafe for two years and rarely brewed my own coffee at home, I made sure I had a functioning coffee maker wherever I lived. It just wasn't home without it. When I moved back in with my mom, I brought along some of my kitchen appliances, including my coffee maker.So when I got married, I left it with her when I moved into my husband's house. Unfortunately, my husband didn't own a coffee maker. It was a big adjustment or me. We generally drink tea in the mornings, which is OK... I guess. And I don't consume as much caffeine these days, which is probably a good thing. But still, me without a coffee maker? Weird.

Which is why two nights ago, I took advantage of a Fall Clearance Sale and a gift card I've been holding on to for 6 months to score a brand new coffee maker from Macy's! It was a momentous occasion, especially when it rang up for $16 less than it was marked. Even the cashier was excited for me then.

Thank you, Macy's

It was a great feeling to setup that beautiful machine, set up the clock, and program it to start brewing 15 minutes before my alarm goes off in the mornings. No more dragging myself out of bed and having to suffer the indignity of waiting for water to boil to get my caffeine fix. Me and mornings might just be on speaking terms again. I was so excited for that first, coffee-filled morning. Coffee would be waiting for me when I woke  up, it was going to be glorious...

Fast forward to yesterday morning. What's that sound waking me from my sleep? Is it my alarm? No, it's the baby crying 45 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. He's been sleeping 10-12 hours a night since he was 3 months old but, this week he's inexplicably been waking up for midnight feedings. I had been up with him just a few hours before. Now, to add insult to injury, he also gets up before the sun on my perfectly planned Coffee Morning? I brought him to bed and tried to coax him back to sleep but he had his own plans so I ended up laying in bed or 45 minutes with a baby crawling all over me and not a drop of caffeine to be found.

Of course, when I made my way into the kitchen, the coffee was there waiting for me, freshly brewed. And though the kid had thwarted my plans to wake up to the smell of coffee wafting into the bedroom, it was still
nice to have a fresh cup first thing in the morning. I've missed that. The thing about my house is that my husband has owned it for years. He's lived here on his own so everything about it screams "A Man Lives Here." The furniture, the decorations, everything. They re nice, they're just not my style. There aren't a lot of touches of me yet except for my collection of Chick Flicks in the entertainment center. I've got lots of ideas of things I'd like to do to add my own flair, but these things take time, especially when you're on a budget. So it's nice to have something that's definitely me. It feels like home.

The return of my Morning Cup

Feeling the effects of his early rising

YOUR TURN: What's that one thing that you've got to have to really feel like home?

Unplugged

Where have I been????????????
So, just as I get into this whole blogging thing, my internet goes down. So not what's up for an aspiring social media mogul or whatever you call people who do this kind of thing and actually have people read it. It's really not that bad though, surprisingly. I temporarily let my cellphone go after having the baby to save money since I'm not working. So, the only reliable way to contact me is on our land line (remember those) and veryfew people have that number so I'm pretty much totally "unplugged" for the first time in about 12 years. And you know what? It's pretty peaceful. I can't say that I really missed anything. Well one thing... I missed google. I google everything from the history of the British Monarchy to the name of the supporting actress in that movie I saw that one time when I was 5. There have been so many times over the past few weeks when a question popped into my head and I was powerless to google the answer and I almost when CRAZY!

But other than that, not so bad. I reminds me of back before the entire universe went wireless. When I was in high school no one had cell phones. I actually started high school when the pager was king but you weren't allowed to carry one in school so you had to hide it. We would stay after school for practice or something and everyone just trusted that their parents knew to pick them up at 5. If they were late, we waited... novel idea. Got me thinking that maybe the world wouldn't end if we weren't so constantly globalized.

That being said... even I can only go so long without reaching out to the world so I haven't relocated to a cave in the forest with a typewriter just yet.. I'm still not up and running full time yet but I thought I'd check in with a few quick updates.

What's Been Going On:
1) The kid has been growing. He's sitting up with some help...

Holding his bottle...

Working on his crawling...

Also, so glad I didn't shell out for those expensive baby Einstein toys when all it takes to entertain him is a bag of wipes!



And overall just getting his adorable on...

We took him for his 6-month check up last week and he's 17lb 3oz and 26in (He was born 7 lbs even and 20 in). He seems huge to me but, while we were in the waiting room there was another little boy who was born 3 hours after him and was literally twice his size. I love big fat babies but I'm so thankful mine is a reasonable Medium. It's hard enough lugging him around as it is. 

He's also got his first runny nose but I'll spare you the pictures.

2) I'm shrinking! With the exception of just a little bit of stretchy skin on my tummy I can safely say my figure is back. If that weren't the case then the kid would be in grave danger of being an only child. Actually, I've got a little more than my figure back so I'm still not fitting into my clothes the way I like but I'm thinking that shouldn't be a problem once these mammary glands go back to normal size when the kid is done with them.

3) September 11

I've never fully been able embrace 9/11 as the most tragic day of my year because, long  before it was a national disaster, it was my favorite cousin's birthday. We were raised in the same house for most of our lives so he's more like a brother to me and we were always close because he's less than a year younger than me. Growing up, people thought that he was my brother than that my actually brother was my cousin. He's struggled mental illness since our teenaged years and celebrating his birthday on Sunday really renewed my commitment to praying for him.

4) Puppies, Puppies, Puppies! Bob Barker was right, have your pets spayed and neutered. I've been taking care of 8 German Shepherd mix puppies for the last three months or so. They are getting big and loud and the neighbors probably hate us. We finally started re-homing them today and thankfully, 4 down and 4 to go. So if you know anyone who's looking...

5) I'm trying to exercise my brain more. The inner nerd in my just wont die. So I've been reading a lot more. Right now, I'm making my way through the works of Shakespeare, mainly because it's the only thing in my library I haven't read and I can't afford to buy new books now. What a tragedy... Borders is closing down and I'm flat broke! I'm dying inside. 

Also, because if I ever do go back to school it will be for Computer Science, I've been brushing up on my programming skills with this gem

Just another project to while away the days. We'll see where this goes.

So that's about it for the goings on in Zurilyland. I don't know how regularly I'll be online in the next few weeks but I'll take advantage of the time I do get and try to keep some new contact coming. Until next time, here's a bonus pic: As I was typing the little one fell asleep playing on the floor. This is what I walked in on when I went in to check on him

YOUR TURN:
Caption Contest! Think up your best caption for the picture above.

Shamelessly Plugging My Kid

Move over, Will and Jada! You're not the only ones who can turn your children into internet sensations. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a little one-man show we like to call Exesaucer Fun:

We're already in talks for a sequel. We'll probably begin shooting after he's had a good sleep and a big meal. Stars can be so temperamental!

YOUR TURN:
What's your favorite cute kid video? Feel free to share a link.

The Worst Feeling in the World

What's the worst feeling in the world? I used to think it was failure. I don't like to admit this, but back in Elementary School, I would involuntarily tear up if I raised my hand to answer a question and got it wrong. I HATE failing publicly. I'm often uncomfortable running into people I knew when I was younger because I don't like explaining that I've not been able to finish school. I don't like playing sports that I'm not good at because I don't want to strike out in front of everyone.

But you know, I've failed at A LOT of things: Tests, classes, relationships, job interviews, you name it. And I've learned that failure is just a chance to try to do things better, or to try something completely new. So failure, while uncomfortable, is not the worst feeling in the world. I'd have to give that title to Betrayal.

Full Disclosure: I was betrayed by someone very close to me recently. And what hurt the most was not the act but the level of deceit and the absolute hypocrisy of claiming to be one thing while all the wile being another. It's a horrible thing to find out that you've been lied to not once, but over a period of time. What's worse is, even though I know everything and the other person knows that I know everything, they wont just come clean. Even when faced with overwhelming evidence. So, while I can forgive the actual act of betrayal, it never ends because everyday I have to wake up and forgive the continued lies.

Whoever came up with the "knife in the back" metaphor for betrayal was a wise person. When someone violates relationship with you in such a way 1) you're caught totally unawares 2) you feel like you're dying 3) the knife is in your back so you can't reach it to pull it out yourself. Only the person inflicting the damage can make it right. It's crushing; even me, who is usually a pretty stoic person, find it impossible to just pretend everything is peachy.

My one consolation: This too shall pass. Betrayal is one of the many wrongs Jesus was subjected to by the people he loved most. And, though his betrayal was so much deeper than mine, at the end of the day he was still able to pray for the very people and say "Father, forgive them." He loved them enough to lay aside his grief.

One of the Psalms deals with this very topic:
For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:  But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.
 We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company. 
Psalm 55:12-14

In the end, the solution the Psalmist offers is one that is very simple and very difficult;
Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 55:22

The truth is, there is only one person we can 100% trust with our hearts and know that we will not be betrayed, and that is God. Everyone else will hurt us at some point... they may not admit it.. and they may not be sorry. But, if we find the grace to forgive them as Jesus forgave us then we have a promise that we will  be sustained.

YOUR TURN:
What do you think the worst feeling in the world is? Why?

Babies Are Psychic

"Don't even think about being productive today!"

At least mine is. There is no other explanation. I first became suspicious early on, when the Little One started sleeping in his own room. He was a night person in those days and sometimes wouldn't go down until 1:00, leaving Mommy very tired. But he wouldn't simply go to sleep. He'd close his eyes and fake it as I tiptoed gently back to bed. Then, at the exact second when I found my spot and tucked my covers cozily under my chin, I hear that pitiful whimper calling me back across the hall. Sometimes, when he was feeling extra sadistic, he would wait a few more minutes until I had just barely dozed off before loudly letting me know that my presence was desired.

Those days are thankfully over. The boy is in his crib between 8:30 and 9:00 every night and goes peacefully to sleep without any aid from me. And he's a faithful 12 hour sleeper, nights are blissful once more. Or at least, they should be...

But, since Junior is such a night-time champ he's up considerably more during the daytime and his psychic powers are somehow strengthened by the sunlight. I can generally get him to take a late morning nap a few hours after he wakes up and I take advantage of that time to take a short nap myself, thinking I'll wake up and get some chores done while he finished his snooze. Without fail, this kid always manages to wake up within 2 minutes of me. We live on a main street with my son's room facing the road. Emergency vehicles scream past the house at least 6 times a day and the kid doesn't even roll over. But the sound of Mommy stirring from across the hall and he's wide awake.

So we get up, maybe I feed him and we play for a while. Then, I pull out the Exe-saucer or playmat or playpen and let him entertain himself for a while, which he is generally happy to do... Until he senses that mommy is ready to perform a chore that he can't tag along for. As soon as i starting thinking to myself  "I should start dinner." Or "I should get these floors mopped."  Or any other non-kid-friendly activity... my little psychic companion strikes preemptively and starts kicking up a fuss.

I'm not even mad at the little dude. It's rather brilliant, really. Get all the attention he needs all day long and make mommy d all her chores after 8:30... so what if she can't remember going to bed before 2:00am. I just think he needs to rethink his plan, every time he uses his powers for evil instead of good, he diminishes his chances of getting a baby brother or sister any time soon!

YOUR TURN:
How do you balance the demands of the kids with the demands of... everything else.

Guilty Pleasure: Why I Love Korean Dramas

You know what? Nix that! I'm not even going to call it a guilty pleasure because I don't feel guilty about it. I ain't ashamed! I'll declare it to everyone... I LOVE me some Korean dramas. I think they are the best things ever.

A little background. I first discovered the Korean drama sometime around 2005/2006 when I was going to school in Philly. It's much more fair to say that my roommates discovered them first and managed to suck me in but that's splitting hairs. One of the local access channels had Korean programming every night, which culminated in a 30-minute daily soap opera with English subtitles. The show we got addicted to was called "Bizarre Bunch" and we had never seen anything like it before. Knowing what I know now, it's a pretty formulaic KDrama but for us it was a wonderfully wacky new ride filled with overacting and sappiness and heartwarming good times.

"I don't get it." you say "That doesn't sound all that awesome. What's so great about Korean Dramas?" I'm glad you ask... Allow me to expound:

1) They End
Most Kdramas consist of 16-24 1-hour episodes that air twice a week. Which means each story has to be introduced, developed and wrapped up in 6-12 weeks. You don't have to wait 10 seasons just to find out that Ross and Rachel get together in the end.

2) They Are Clean
Because of Korea's super strict censorship laws, no explicit content can be shown on network TV during the daytime or primetime hours so most of the shows are as chaste as an Amish Prom. The characters rarely even hug or hold hands, let alone anything further (and the shows still have an "Under 15" rating). It's refreshing, given the over-sexualization in the media over here.

3) They Are Predicatble
You would think that would be a negative but that actually makes it interesting. You know how it's gonna end and you even know what many of the major plot points are gonna be, but it's the route they take to get you there that makes it fun. Speaking of which...

4) They Are Fun and Wacky
I don't even know how to explain what makes them so fun. It may be the absurdity of them. They just are. You gotta try it for yourself.

Here's a few suggestions for the Novice Kdrama viewer.
Delightful Girl Choong-hyang- Watch this one first. It's got all of the above elements and is a very prototypical Kdrama
Coffee Prince- Possibly my all time favorite ever. And just a little bit different from your typical drama
Boys Over Flowers- An absolute Hot Mess of a show but a lot of fun if you're new to the kdrama world. Highlights the absurdity I mentioned earlier.
Full House- Very cute. Stars rain,who played Raizo in Ninja Assassin (LOVED that movie!)

 Those should get you started. Fair warning. I love light romantic comedies. They also have their share of epic melodramas, action thrillers, and historical dramas but i don't watch them so I can speak on them.

Here's what I'm watching now
Scent of a Woman- Not a remake of the Pacino classic, though they do reference it.
Myung-Wol the Spy- Very cute and wacky with a unique premise.
Protect the Boss- My favorite show that I'm currently watching. It's soooo funny, mainly because it takes all the "predictable" kdrama cliches and stereotypes and totally turns hem on their head. If you watch this, watch some of the other I've suggested first so that you can fully appreciate what I great job they do with this show.

Oh and here's on of my favorite websites, Dramabeans. They keep me up to date on the latest news and feature some very funny and insightful recaps of several shows.

Happy watching. I hope you enjoy the as much as I do!

YOUR TURN: What's your guilty pleasure?

Dreams

There's only two main things I've ever wanted to do with my life: Be a scientist and be a missionary.

I fell in love with Science on the first day of second grade... the day that textbooks are handed out. I was given my science book and opened it up to peruse it while the rest of the class received theirs. I remember turning to the first page and just starting to read; it was something about dinosaurs and how they lived a long time ago and there was a picture of the now defunct brontosaurus munching happily on Mesozoic foliage. From that day on, science was my thing. Most of the books I checked out of the library were about nature or animals. every career aspiration I had was science related: Zoologist (2nd Grade), Palaeontologist (3rd Grade), Marine Biologist ( 4th Grade), Aerospace Engineer (5th Grade), Biomedical Engineer (College), Biomedical Research (Current). That's about 23 years of my life spent in a deeply committed relationship with my main squeeze, Science.

But, what Science didn't know was that, at age 14 I met someone, Jesus Christ. At first it was great. My sins were forgiven; I felt truly loved and accepted for the first time in my life; life was good and getting better every day. Science and I were still making plans to run away together to a prestigious university and live happily ever after working for NASA and designing space shuttles. Most of my friends from Church were dreaming of being pastors or pastors wives and, while I thought "good for them," I didn't think God had something like that in store for me.

"God knows me," I thought "He knows I'm too shy. I might actually have to talk to people I don't know if I did something like that." Time went on, though, and I grew in Christ and He began to put more and ore of a burden for souls on my heart until eventually as I neared the end of high school I conceded just a bit. My new tune was "Well, if God really REALLY wants me to be a pastor's wife I guess I can do it... but only in America. I'm not going anywhere were I can't take a hot shower." I know, very magnanimous of me.

That all changed on April 9th, 2000. Well, it began to change before that. I was away at school at the University of Oklahoma (the prestigious university I had applied to had turned me down), 833 miles away from my home in Atlanta. Being thrust into a brand new situation all by myself was the catalyst I needed to come out of my shell. Almost overnight, I was a people person and the thought of trying to make friends with new people wasn't so scary. On top of that. I went from going to a small church in Atlanta to going to a VERY small church in Oklahoma City. The thing about going to a "pioneer church" (a church that has only been open for a short while and is still in the growing stages) is that you get to see first hand what it takes to build a work for God and you generally have to be very involved in helping to build that work... because, frankly, there is no one else.

Because OKC is 20 minutes away from the OU campus and I didn't have a car, I generally spent Sundays in the city and was dropped off back at school after the evening services. April 9th, 2000 was the day after my 19th birthday (just gave my age away there... do the math yourself). One of the girls had wanted to stay at the church and work on a mural she was painting in the nursery so I stayed with her to keep her company. I was sitting, reading a quarterly magazine called "The Trumpet" that that the Christian Fellowship Ministries (which my church is a part of) puts out. It contains testimonies of what God has been doing in our churches all over the world. One of the testimonies caught my eye because it was from the church in Surinam, which borders my home country of Guyana. I was reading it and God spoke very plainly to me and said "You're going to do the same thing in Guyana."

I know, when people start referring to God speaking to them folks start to slowly back away. I'm not saying that the sky opened up and a light shined down and an audible voice shook the room as a choir of angels harmonized. But I know the "voice in my head" and this was not it. Take it for what you will; I took it as the Call of God upon my life.

From that day on Science was no longer my main squeeze, Calling was. But Science was never totally out of the picture. I left OU after my Freshman year but I continued to study engineering, first at community college in Atlanta, then at Drexel University in Philadelphia. I tried to tell Science that we were just friends but, honestly, I wasn't even fooling myself. I loved science. I loved reading Science; I loved doing Scince; I loved thinking about Science; I loved talking about Science. But I truly love the things of God more. Since that day in 2000, my burden to touch the world has grown so much farther than Guyana. There are so many nations where I want to have an opportunity to go preach the Gospel. I suppose I felt that I would pursue my career for as long as I could and then, one fateful day, God would tap me on the shoulder and say "It's Time" and I'd be able to activate Missionary Mode and hop on the next international flight out of town.

And maybe it will go down like that. After all, I know God's plans for me are so much greater than anything that I can build on my own. Sometimes I wonder if it will go down at all. 11 years later and I'm really not much closer to either of my dreams than I was that day. I was in school, on and off, for 8 years and had to leave just a few credits short of my degree due to financial constraints. I've spent the last 3 years chasing two-year-olds in a preschool and not working on my Nobel Prize in research lab. I'm a stay-at-home mom now who's attention has been, I'm sad to say, sorely distracted from the cry of the nations this past year. But, one of my favorite promises from God is that is that He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. Which means The Lord is the one writing my life story, not me. And, since I'm still here, he's not done yet.

YOUR TURN: What steps do we all need to take to achieve our dreams?